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President Mike B. was joined today at Cafe Spiga by 11 other members plus our guest speaker, Kaleem Sikandar, Esq., LLMTaxation, who would be speaking today about Grief. President Mike began today's meeting with a number of announcements: Mark Snyder will be (re-)inducted as a member of the Rotary Club of Port Jefferson at our meeting on September 13th. His wife Gloria will attend this event. At our September 20th meeting, we will be honoring the memory of Bill Jaeger at Cafe Spiga. Kim will oversee the creation of a plaque in Bill's name and perhaps showing his image. Dennis and Sharon will team up to write something about Bill, his love of Rotary, and his volunteering at Habitat builds (and Camp Pa-Qua-Tuck cleanups). Bill's wife, Marilyn, and family will be invited to attend (Bob H. will invite her on our behalf). John Perkins, who is our Habitat Build leader, will, hopefully, be able to join us on this occasion. Lee Silberman, CEO of Habitat Long Island, will be our guest speaker on this day. Our Port Jeff High School 2022 Graduating Senior Scholarship winner, Luke Filippi, sent us a Thank You note. He will be attending Albany State University. Sharon updated us on the Past President's Dinner (honoring Rob Dooley) at Savino's on September 29th, when festivities will begin at 5 PM with a cocktail hour. She and Deb have been working on the event details. So far we have 33 people signed up to attend, including member spouses/guests. She has been phoning the non-respondents to our Dinner Invitation. ( Please RSVP to Sharon if you haven't yet done so. ) We have contracted to pay for 43 dinner guests. Remember: dues-paying members are entitled to attend with a guest for free, while Corporate Members will have to choose a member to represent them. Others pay $60 to attend this event. All guests are welcome. Our ANNUAL RAFFLE DRAWING will take place at this dinner! Rebecca gave a glowing review of "Every Brilliant Thing", a 1-man show starring Jeffrey Sanzel at Theater Three. She found the show to be quite engaging and filled with moments of laughter despite the seriousness of the topic being addressed. She urged our members to attend the last performance this Sunday. How many Raffle Tickets have you sold? Jenn still has packets of tickets to give out. If you haven't received yours yet, please contact her to arrange for a delivery. If you need extras, also let Jenn know. She can get them to you tomorrow. Remember that each member is expected to sell at least his/her 25 tickets. There'll be a prize for the member who sells the most tickets. Judi is in the CardioCare Unit at Mather. She invites your prayers for her recovery. The Rotary Club of Rocky Point invites you all to consider participating in Hope Children's Fund's 18th Annual KENYA/USA Bi-Continental 5K Run/Walk that will take place on Sunday, October 16th. This event, now named The Larry Hohler Memorial, will be an occasion to compete against Kenyans who will be running/walking simultaneously on the other side of the world in Meru, Kenya. Here, it will begin at 10 AM at the Port Jeff Station end of the Port Jefferson Station-Setauket Greenway Trail. (Enter the parking lot at the Hallock Ave. traffic light- between Enterprise Car Rental and the 7-11 on Rte.112.) Registration for the competition will begin between 9:00- 9:30 AM at the western end of the parking lot and the trail's beginning. There is a suggested donation of $30.* Runners/walkers who can secure more than $100 in pledges can participate for free. All finishers will receive medals. *All proceeds go to support the Jerusha Mwiraria Hope Children's Home in Meru, an orphanage co-founded by Larry Hohler. ***For those who cannot participate on 10/16, there will be a VIRTUAL RUN/WALK any time up to October 23, 2022. For more information or to receive pledge sheets, contact Kevin Mann at kevinmannmail@gmail.com, Ed Hyshiver at edhysh@optonline.net, or Yvette Hohler at hohlerlj@aol.com . ***To learn about Hope Childrens Fund, go to hopechildrensfund.org . Nancy reported that we have been awarded a District Grant, but a smaller amount than that requested: $1,147.50. Nancy, the author of the grant request, will soon be meeting with the Donations Committee and Dr. Pat to discuss the steps they'll need to take in order to meet the stringent requirements of the grant. The money is destined for our Chandler Estate Park and like upkeep projects. Nancy also advertised Mather's Paint Port Pink Campaign and breast cancer awareness fundraising projects. President Mike will be sharing the information with you in an upcoming email. Mike has reached out to TBR and and Greater LI/Port Jeff media re. the possibility of the editors visiting our club to write an article about who we are and what we do. This is our 85th Anniversary, and we should celebrate and deserve to be celebrated via publicity. Mike noted that he has ordered a Past President Badge for Rob and a new member badge for Mark Snyder. The Rotary Club of Southampton invites you to its "Night at the Rogers Mansion" on Thursday, 8/25 from 5:30-8 PM. It begins at the Southampton History Museum, 17 Meeting House Lane, Southampton. Among the activities: the appearance of World Class Mentalist, Kevin Nicholas; Professionally Drawn Caricatures; Open Bar & hors d'oeuvres; and Tours of the Rogers Mansion grounds and New Exhibit. A Single Ticket costs $75, while a pair of tickets will cost $125. For more information, go to: www.southamptonhistory.org/calendar. We will be having a contingent of golfers participating in the Southold/Greenport Rotary Golf Classic on August 31st and wish them good luck and a good time! Today's Super Sergeant, Rebecca, asked questions primarily about the month of August. Helper ("collection fairy"?) Kim picked up the dollars for wrong answers. Can you name one of August's two flowers? (gladiolas and poppies) or Zodiac Signs? (Leo & Vergo) Among the Happy $$$ collected: Mike B. visited his parents who recently moved to Deposit, NY; the Giants won a practice game; happy to see a bit of rain; and Kim's upcoming birthday- for which we sang beautifully, as usual. Rebecca didn't request a song for her 8/17 Anniversary. Yvette picked the blue raffle ticket that won her the chance to pick a card from the deck and hope for the Ace of Spades to win the pot. She picked the 9 of Hearts; so the pot continues to grow. Next week, will you win it? Ya gotta be in it to win it. Mike again introduced our guest speaker, Kaleem Sikandar, who is both an attorney and tax accountant. However today he wanted to speak to us as the non-denominational spiritual counselor/Reverend that he also is- and his topic was Grief. He told us how he came to find the latter profession. Around 14 years ago, he began to lose people he loved- including his best friend at age 26 and his beloved partner. Thus, he became very familiar with grief which led his life to spiral downwards. Often, when one finds him/herself in very stressful situations, he/she turns to alcohol. One tends to both celebrate and commiserate with alcohol. And so, Kaleem began to drink to excess to fend off his growing depression and suicidal thoughts. His alcoholism and depression grew worse, leading subsequently to a divorce. He told us that he ended up in a psychiatric ward, which he claimed didn't do him much good. He rued his psychiatric meds and the lack of community support that he needed. Eventually, Kaleem sought a path of change. He wanted to become an attorney. Brought up as a Muslim, he now sought another spiritual path that would better serve him and discovered that prayer does not belong to any one religion. Kaleem joined a non-denominational church, where he found a community that supported him in his struggle to eventually accept and then diminish his grief. He found that grief can take a lot of time to handle, and a grieving person needs the support of others. How do you lend support? Just show up. Make sure the grieving person is constantly moving forward and performing his/her daily tasks. Do not give anything that will numb the pain- that just leads to addiction and inability to mend. Kaleem suggests that deeply grieving persons who feel that they cannot handle their loss alone should go to a therapist, a church, a person or persons who can help them understand, manage, and move beyond their pain. He feels that speaking about grief is not taboo. Kim mentioned a way she learned to lessen and put away grief using visualizing "a ball in the box" as therapy. (Ask her to explain.) Kaleem stressed again that it takes a long time for one to process the grief. Being depressed is not necessarily mental illness. Nowadays, there are suicide hotlines available to all who need to talk or learn where to go for help and support. He pointed out Pathways to Love and Life in Miller Place, where counselors are available and different services are available. Everyone should have access to supportive help. Kaleem has an office in Port Jeff, where he welcomes guests who need an attorney or a tax accountant or spiritual counselor. |
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